Sunday, November 2, 2008

Casino results and my failure to you :(

So I had my 50$ ready and the rest I hid in the apartment to eliminate the risk of it being stolen. Would be ironic if I lost my money at the casino and had it stolen from me at home. Well I'm ready and waiting to go when I hear a knock at my door. I answer it and sure enough its 10 guys with shot guns after my entire fortune! Heh anyways I open the door and its my ride. She asks to come in real fast to use the bathroom and finish getting ready, so I stepped aside and let her in. Now back to waiting, I turn on the TV and blog a little more while I wait. I already know "bathroom and finish getting ready" means I have time for a full length movie.. Close anyways cause she will definitely finish the moment I get into what I'm watching. When she finally finishes and we are ready to head out she ask to barrow 40$...... Crap! lol how could she do this to me? I give her the money and I make sure my end is still 50$.. Who cares if she loses the 40$ and if I lose the 50$? She will pay me back for it.

So we are at the casino playing penny slots. I'm more of a card guy myself, but with limited funds penny slots are great for me.. In about a 2 hour period I manage to stay even, I'd lose 20 then go up 40 , back down 15, then up and so on. She hit for 150$ and hands me my 40$ back giving me 90$... Well 4-5 hours later I had still managed to hold my ground, was even up 30$ when I thought we were leaving. Turned out we weren't leaving..... What we were really doing is finding out the girl that gave me a ride ran into her boyfriend and he was "whoops!" with another woman. So my ride has to go after them and I had no intention of being part of the boyfriend pursuit so I asked others with us for a ride home. They agreed and we all went back to gambling for a few hours.. About 3 and a half hours later my money starts to nose dive.. At 60$ I pulled the plug and decided to cut my losses. Well the ride I was so thankful for wasn't ready to go just yet, in fact they weren't ready to go for another 5 hours... So I'd get bored and started gambling again.. Machine would make me look like comeback then eat all my cash. Finally I went broke and my new ride has no intention of leaving still. So they start giving me money to gamble which worked and kept my mind off wanting to leave. Well I wasn't able to come up on the money they gave me and I wasn't having fun anyways. Still not ready to leave I found myself as stuck and as broke as ever. So I came up with the master plan..... Every time I was handed money to gamble I walked off, sat at a slot for a few minutes and kept the cash in my pocket instead of dumping it into the machine.

I was able to get 30$ back before we finally left so I couldn't pay back the entire 40$ making me a traitor of the poll, and a liar to you. Even if I paid it back, a higher sum 90$ went to that casino then originally agreed upon. For this I feel much shame... I take some pride in knowing my costume was completed.

As for pocketing the money given to me instead of gambling with it..... I'm quite pleased with myself and so were they when I showed them I still had it.. I even offered it back but they did'nt except it. Why should they? I played the hardest game in the casino with that 30$..... I did'nt gamble any of it, while sitting in the lions den. At least that's commendable. Its only true cause I was burnt out and tired of punching slot machines lol.

Not sure how I should be punished but trust me it will be Severe!

Midnight Eternal

Friday, October 31, 2008

Unemployment check + Casino =

Well the day has finally come... My unemployment has finally ran out and I have one month to find work. My father came to see me and we decided to head to the casino. Casino is great as far as cashing checks go.. Its free! Ha... If you can make it out the door without gambling that is. I normally play Texas Holdem but with limited funds I decided to play the slots with my dad. Two beers and 100$ later we decided it was time to leave and cut our losses. I have 150$ left plus rent paid for November and December. Now I have to decide....

Do I ration my money so I can have my little luxuries and emergency cash until I can get work?

Do I go back to the casino with my friends this time and risk every dollar on one of the many exciting games of chance?

Do I take 50$ leaving 100$ at home so it wont be a total loss if I lose it all?

Ill put up a poll and will see what you all think. Not many people come through here yet :( hehe so I will only obey the vote if 5 or more people vote before its time to leave tonight. I have been neglecting my poor blog lately so whoever is reading this.....You are likely the only vote I will get.

If that's the case... If there is only one vote Ill go by that decision in appreciation for the time you have given me in taking the time to read this. You have my thanks and my life in your hands! :)

It is Halloween and the casino will be a lot of fun tonight. I'm planning on dressing up as a degenerate gambler. If I win I can be the degenerate gambler who finally won! If I lose my costume is even better cause then it will be more believable cause its true. If you look at it like that... I CANT LOSE!

If you force me to stay home I will buy 150$ worth of the worst candy I can find and pass it out to all the children tonight. Yes I said it, I will become the Grinch of Halloween and spoil it for all! Sooner or later the many children will reach into their bags and grab the horrible candy I have thrust upon them and will suffer a most horrible taste! You will live the rest of your life knowing you took part in this most heinous act. Shame on you!

It doesn't have to be like this... You can still make the right choice and redeem yourself. You still have a chance to live a normal guilt free life. I leave the fate of Halloween in your hands. If you make the correct choice then my final words will be true.

Happy Halloween all!

Midnight Eternal

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Sorry its been so long since I Posted.. Ohh and my roomate just went to prison!

Things have been hectic around here lately, which is why I have not been posting.. So where to begin.

I started taking on roommates about 7 months ago to help pay the bills. Ive been through 5 of them now, yes in that short amount of time. Its amazing how many people don't understand the concept of "money" .... However this last roommate was by far the best one I have ever had. Cleaned up after himself, payed rent on time, kept the fridge stocked, and he was quiet. He has been here about 3 months and I met him through the previous person I had staying with me. I knew him as Mario, a Latino male who grew up in a bad part of LA. Well it turned out the perfect roommate was wanted by the authorities. His real name was Jose, so the sheriff told me while I was cuffed outside my apartment. They had a hard time believing I had no idea he was a felon on the run and that I thought his name was Mario. So basically I was harboring a fugitive. Fortunately I wasn't charged with anything and I was released on the spot after they ran my name and cleared me. I asked what he had done and all they would tell me is he had outstanding felony warrants. So I looked it up online using his real name the police were so kind to give me. Turns out he was caught with a controlled substance with intent to distribute and manufacturing. He bailed out and has been on the run for 3 years. Believe me when I say its quite the experience to suddenly be rushed by no less then 15 sheriffs with body armor and weapons drawn. Second time in my life I have ever been held at gun point.

So without his rent this month Ive been forced to take on side jobs to make up the extra money I was counting on for rent. I have it now and will be back to writing frequently. So please keep on stopping by and I hope you enjoy whatever my mind conjure up.


Midnight Eternal

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Lacking in Manners and Common Sense.

Maybe its just the people I associate with or the places I choose to spend my time, but most people I interact with are severely lacking in basic manners. I don't expect people to be overly nice and polite to strangers and I don't expect people to go out of there way to do favors or random acts of kindness. What I do expect is common courtesy and respect of peoples property and privacy.

Lately guest that I have let into my home have managed to do everything possible to make themselves not welcome. I hate telling people "don't do that, don't touch that, stay out of there. " I should never have to unless my guest happened to be little children and I was babysitting. If you want to make me really angry, start making me repeat myself after I already asked you politely not to do something.

One guy I had over recently seemed pretty cool. He was nice and acted like a normal person till the next time he came over. Now that hes a little more comfortable in my home he starts helping himself to whatever he wants. I went into another room to make a phone call so he could continue to watch the Tv without hearing me yap. The polite thing to do. Now he had already ate the last of the ice-cream and all the chips without asking. I wasn't all that bothered at this point and let it go. Now however I come out of the room after my call and hes sitting at my computer going through my myspace checking my mail and accepting friend request. What the hell is that? He had no business being on my computer let alone looking at personal content. I was Furious.

The most common thing people do is go outside on their cell phones and scream profanity while arguing with boyfriends or girlfriends or whomever. I live in an apartment and these people either don't care or realize I could be evicted or get in a lot of trouble for their actions. Not only that my unit is right by the playground where many little kids are playing all the time. Its completely disrespectful and now I have to go out and drag these people inside and ask them what the hell they are thinking. They always tell me how sorry they are, they never meant to disrespect my home and it will never happen again. Any normal, decent person with common sense would never have done it in the first place. Its disrespectful to me and it makes me look disrespectful to my neighbors. People need to leave their dirty laundry at home.

Then you have the people who throw garbage everywhere but the trash. Countless times someone has tossed a food wrapper or cigarette off my balcony in front of me nonetheless. I always give them a "what the hell are you thinking" look and send them down the stairs to pick up their trash. Whats wrong with these freaking people?

Spills and messes inside are left till I say something.. I have to ask people to clean up their own mess...

I had one guy get into my fridge and start eating my lunch I had made for work the next day. He was really confused as to why I was upset and said "ill buy you more.." and started arguing with me. Needless to say that guy got the boot right then.

Now these occurrences are all different people. I only warn people once before they are no longer welcome anywhere around me or in my home. The single warning may be more then most people deserve cause theres no excuse for any of it. I have to assume to many kids are being raised wrong. Theres to many people around these days that act as if the world revolves around their own useless lives. Anyone disrespectful of peoples homes and property probably has never worked for anything they have in life. Either spoiled by their parents or bullied their parents into bending to their will for years.

I was never really taught how to act or given a step by step guide of do's and dont's. Common sense dictates my actions. When at someones home I've always been very respectful and I'm welcome wherever I go. Hell even more so these days cause I have all this inside knowledge of what really pisses me off about guest in my own place.

What really gets to me is most the people I have problems with have no idea they were doing anything wrong. They look at me confused until I explain step by step why pooping over the rail is bad. It could be that I'm ignorant or biased and hold people to an unfair standard. Maybe I get so angry cause i believe everyone should act like me. Just maybe a little poop over the rail is exactly what this world needs. I hope thats not the case, I really do.

Midnight Eternal

Monday, October 6, 2008

Joe and Larry

" You see Larry? Do you see ? I knew we were being followed! The man in the white suit just walked in and went in the restroom. I first noticed him when we sat down for lunch, then he showed up in the park, and now here at the library.

Say it don't spray it, thats gross man..... I think you're losing it Joe. Wow... Are you seriously shaking? You are to much man. Think we need to get you some help.

Dammit Larry listen to me, this is serious. For once wou.......... Tha tha right there! You see how he looked at us when he came out of the restroom? Stop shaking your head at me and listen for once. I'm telling you that man is here for us.

I'm sorry Joe you're being ridiculous. Think about it logically for a moment you crazy bastard. Why in the hell would anyone be after us. We have nothing, we have never hurt anyone and hell we haven't even spoken at length with a single person in a month.

You know exactly why someone would be after us. Or did you forget about the Key? Larry... Larry where the hell are you going? Slow down at least. I think we are in serious danger Larry.

I'm going to get some food, I'd slow down but I want to get there before someone poisons it all. What man? Don't look at me like that.... Look Joe you are really starting to piss me off... You need to quit giving me that nasty look before I beat you down in the street.... Ohh what? You're gonna cry now...... Look I'm sorry about what I said I just got a little aggravated is all. Here, come inside and I'll buy you dinner. Why don't you go clean up and I'll order for us. Every thing is gonna be alright man, trust me.

What can I get for you today Sir?

ummmmmmm.... hmmmm I'll have 2 orders of chili cheese fries, 2 double cheese burgers, 2 large drinks and..... I guess that should do it.

Your total comes to 9.74$ sir and out of 20$.... 5,6,7,8,9, 10.26$ is your change Sir and your order will be right up.....

You feeling better now Joe? Some food will do you good I bet.

Ya I think I'm ok now. Just so confused.

Its cool man... Oh wait, good timing, theres our food, be right back............. There you go, couple cheese burgers will help get your head cleared.

mmmmmm.. Thats so good.. I'm real sorry Larry, man I feel so stupid now. I don't know what came over me. You know me, I never freak out like that. It was weird......... The moment I felt scared and began to worry my mind began making up its own reality. Then scared turned to terror and... I nearly lost my mind completely huh Larry. If you hadn't snapped me out of it I'd probably gone insane permanently.

Joe let me ask you something.

Sure man, shoot.

You mentioned a Key earlier. Any idea what it is for?

I have no idea. It just came with the mail yesterday morning remember? Anyways its stupid... You're just teasing me now aren't ya?

No Joe..... Don't look now but......... the man in the white suit is watching us from across the street... Stop smiling, I'm not joking with you. He is standing just inside the alley directly out the window behind you....... Joe.. Joe stop! Look at me Joe. I need you to remain calm right now. I know you're terrified again but this time I'm with you. We cant let him know we see him. Dammit Joe look at me! I wont let anything happen to you, I promise! Right now you need to act normal and keep eating your food. He cant know we are on to him. It might force his play......Joe.........

He has a gun."

Days worth of writing accidently deleted.

So I have only this rant to post now.

I just recently started to pursue my childhood dream of becoming a novelist. I haven't done any writing or furthered my academic knowledge in anyway for the last 7 years. Just working construction, remodeling and advancing on a career path I don't particularly enjoy. With bills to pay the money has to come in somehow and like everyone else I do what needs to be done to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly.

I got stuck in dead end jobs that are so draining and hard on the body I spent my spare time resting and relaxing. Every job Ive worked I hired on telling myself it would only be temporary. Not once did I ever make an effort to change my position. I'd simply tell myself i would get around to it. Only two reasons I ever changed jobs are, I was fired or laid off. I have always had some magical notion in my head I would stumble into a high paying job I enjoyed, or win the lottery. Did I say magical? I meant bullshit notion :) . Especially since I never looked for any job and I've never bought a lotto ticket in my life. Seems I'm dumb enough to have a fantasy of winning the lotto but smart enough not to waist money on playing it lol. I just numbed my mind to the reality of my situation and procrastinated till this very day. Anyone who has ever been trapped in a dead end job I'm sure can relate.

During all that insanity you can only imagine my writing skills have done nothing but diminish. I've decided to go after a career in writing and will be working on my first fiction novel. Before I even think about seriously writing the novel though I have to re-educate myself and learn how to do it right. Just going to continue to write everyday. Articles, rants, short stories, all of it.

I didn't mean to go into the big sob story at all. I wrote 2 short stories and 1 pretty entertaining rant about my day today. I was going to post them but I rebooted my computer and lost all the work I had done today. I wrote everything on word pads and forgot I hadn't closed out of the documents yet so nothing was saved. My rant originally started cause of how angry I was about losing all that work. I researched several different weapons, armors and combat terms so I could describe my characters and combat perfectly Typing this actually calmed me down.. In fact I'm not the slightest bit angry anymore.

I'm not sure I want to even post now lol, I better go back and read it :)..

What the hell. Gonna go re-write my lost work or start fresh if need be. Come back in later today or tomorrow and give them a read. They will be done and here.

"As a child I was ignorant. As a man I am just as ignorant only now I'm cursed with the knowedge of it." CRS, SeattleCraig

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Collection of Mistakes. Help give waisted words a home.

I will submit every word and or words I type and discard trying to perfect my beginning line. So basically the first sentence in this post is actually the 3rd try. The other two attempts will have the honor of being the first additions to my list of errors. Once the list is long enough I will take all the waisted words and attempt to turn them into a story. I wont begin till I've reached 200-300 errors on my list.

If anyone wants to join me and attempt your own stories and compare you are welcome to do so. We could possibly make a contest out of it.

  1. My beginning line in ever
  2. If you read
  3. A cold wind swept through
  4. Drenched in
  5. You wake up suddenly
  6. The snow had finally started to melt and it was almost to
  7. For the last
  8. Broken glass covered the pavement on Madison block

I hate filling out the personal description boxes!

Every where I go I have to fill one of these damn things out. I guess you don't really have to but I feel weird leaving it blank, like I'm ashamed of myself or something. Every time I have a description box in front of me I suddenly find myself with writers block. I stare blankly at this stupid box spending more time doing that then it will take me to write this entire blog. Once a manage to type a sentence I find myself deleting it and returning to my zombie like state waiting for my next failed thought to transfer from my mind to the screen. Even now I'm thinking of going back to do it over again. Its inevitable, I will never be happy with it. I'm considering starting a movement to get a new law put in place making it illegal for any site to use or allow descriptions. All the people who cant live without the description box will be forced to get them on the black market.

For some reason the opening sentence in almost everything I write about is the one thing stopping me from flooding the screen with the never ending pool of useless knowledge waiting to be shared with the rest of the world. The opening is so crucial to me and has a huge effect on what direction I will take with whatever I'm really trying to write. Sometimes it stops me from writing at all.

So I've decided to take care of my description problem once and for all. I'm going to sit here and work on it for however long it takes me to get it where I'm pleased with it. Then I will save it and use it to copy paste if and when I encounter another terror box.

Now I'm going to start a new blog where I will post all the opening failures I type from now on lol. Also anyone who feels my pain and suffers from the same problem I encourage you to post your failed opening lines as well.